it just doesn't make sense

change

2009-05-23T20:06:00.000-07:00

something happened to me a while ago that inspired change in my life.
that was laughter.
i had been in a zone. an unhappy zone and i thought it was normal.
i thought what i was experiencing - unhappiness, stress, discontent and fear, i thought i'd settle for these.

and i broke free from that zone by laughing at myself, by laughing at my worries and my troubles and laughing at him. and it didn't take me long to realize that it was time to break free from what i had been settling for and to jump off the cliff once again.

and as i write this blog, i now find myself unemployed and a bit more free. a bit more financially unstable but free.

i don't know much but i do know that i'm a lot happier.

i wonder what comes next.

yesterday...

2009-01-28T23:05:00.000-08:00

i realized that fear is running my life.

kick

2009-01-28T23:02:00.000-08:00

sometimes i think people kick me down just to see if i'd get back up.

2009

2009-01-01T21:11:00.000-08:00

1-1-09

today i cleaned.
i cleaned my kitchen.
i cleaned my bathroom.
i cleaned my clothes.
i cleaned out my closet.

i tried to clean out the bad thoughts.
i tried to clean out the doubts.
i tried to clean out the unanswerable questions.

i took a long hot steaming shower.
almost as a finale - to sweat out the last bit of built up frustration.

today is the first day of an awesome year ahead. i love new beginnings.

seattle schmap

2007-09-08T22:33:00.000-07:00

i don't remember if i put down the seattle schmap pics?

Hi joanna,

I am delighted to let you know that your four submitted photos have been selected for inclusion in the newly released third edition of our Schmap Seattle Guide:

Westlake Center
www.schmap.com/seattle/tours_tour1/p=26498/i=26498_4.jpg

Washington State Convention & Trade Center
www.schmap.com/seattle/sights_tourism/p=207450/i=207450.jpg

Diva Espresso
www.schmap.com/seattle/restaurants_sunsethill/p=218069/i=218069.jpg

Caffe Vita
www.schmap.com/seattle/restaurants_coffee/p=26589/i=26589_1.jpg

berkeley schmap

2007-09-08T22:29:00.000-07:00

i made it onto berkeley's schmap w/a yogurt park pic! woohoo!

shortlist me please!

2007-08-29T22:04:00.000-07:00

got another photo shortlisted to be published on schmaps for berkeley! woohoo!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/j0mammma/413494134/

neighbors

2007-08-13T03:19:00.000-07:00

i have no idea what i'm doing here.
it's 3am in the morning and they start partying at 3am on sundays.
then. the guy that sleeps in the parking lot, starts trying to ask them for a beer 3 floors up thru the window. and shit talking starts.
i need to wake up for work in 3 hrs.
i'm estimating a 12hr work day and i'm up typing.
what am i doing here.

moved.

2007-06-26T22:18:00.001-07:00

i've pretty much moved. email me for the new blog link.

i will however keep general comments on here.

having attended both pride parades this weekend, i've received 3 email requests to use my photos in their blogs/websites/interest groups. =)

and! may have my first volunteer gig to photograph a banquet coming up! gotta start somewhere....=)

use my pics!

2007-05-24T22:02:00.001-07:00

hey that's me! awesome!

http://www.nowpublic.com/siff_helps_you_find_your_true_film

wish

2007-05-07T20:01:00.000-07:00

be careful of what you wish for. you just might get it.
i can't believe how much i'm working now.

thursday

2007-05-01T23:07:00.000-07:00

last thursday at work i had a beer just so i can say last thursday i had a beer at work while eating gummi bears and cookies chatting with my boss and coworker while watching live music. and then i went back to work.

"a walking testimonial"

2007-04-29T22:56:00.000-07:00

walking 4 miles a day to / from work is making me feel better overall. what makes me feel even better is getting "herb popcorn" for $1.99 on the way home...mmmm...

flickr sighting...

2007-04-23T22:34:00.000-07:00

i just had my first flickr sighting of myself *shiver*
i went to 'thread' this weekend and searched - thread, seattle and found me!
odd...so that's how all of those dogs and cats feel when i take their pictures without their consent...

Itchmo.com

2007-04-23T22:19:00.000-07:00

Awesome! I joined the "Seattle Pets" Flickr Group. http://www.flickr.com/groups/seattlepets/
So now, their website, if you refresh the page, the right side has a bunch of pet pictures and mine are included! woohooO!

http://www.itchmo.com/

jones soda

2007-04-20T19:53:00.000-07:00

whenever i go into stores, i look at the pictures on the jones soda labels.
and today, while in safeway.
i realized, that when i go into stores, i look at the pictures on the jones soda labels.
...

woohoo #3!

2007-04-13T19:19:00.000-07:00

"You know your dog's lazy when..."

3 more of my pix got picked for the linked article on dogs =)
they're #s: 31, 32, 33 out of 46 pix

http://www.nowpublic.com/you_know_your_dogs_lazy_when

woohoo!

1.9 miles

2007-04-11T21:27:00.000-07:00

that's how far my new job is.
50 minutes including a bagel at whole foods.
that's my morning commute.
and wednesday nights there's a pit stop at my benefits class before trekking home.
i'm spent.
i'm tired.
but i feel like i got ample exercise (my feet are so happy there's no dress code) today - esp w/those hills. all in my commute.
not a dime spent on gas/bus/car wear and tear.
they have inexpensive food at their cafeteria/atrium.
they have a bowling alley.
they have a pool table. a gym. ping pong tables. and beverages. ah the beverage. pop is what they call it up here. not soda. pop. and the set up seriously, reminds me of a movie theater. interesting.
but being in the city. day and night, feels so nice. i love it.

regroup

2007-04-09T23:26:00.000-07:00

ahhh...
that's the sound of a whole lotta crap getting unloaded off my weak - feeble shoulders.
transitioning jobs and transitioning mindframes. no matter what the transition, there's always a "period". and i feel it. i feel like i am starting to reassess all over again.
my contract ended(kinda) on friday and my new job starts on wednesday. *awkward*
you never can tell what's gonna be thrown at you.
for the last 3 months i had no idea where i would end up living and now i think it's pretty clearcut, well, now i made it clearcut that i will be staying in seattle.
so now i'm starting to apt hunt and regroup. being on hold for 3 months with everything depending on it, is not stress-free. at first it was exciting but towards the end, not so much. so i feel calm now knowing what's going on (well at least a bit more). the new job is with a lot larger organization, it's a 30 min walk and still the no-dress-code casual environment. it'll be challenging which is what i'm looking forward to the most.

today i spent 'spring cleaning' - out with the old right?!
tomorrow i have 1 apt scheduled to view, i also want to scope out the neighborhood i like for more available apts, catch a flick, lounge in a coffee shop, find a spot at the lake, take some good pix and zone out.

next day - new job.

freddy rodriguez's character in grindhouse: wray

2007-04-08T17:38:00.000-07:00

that's confidence.

Re-post - 8.06

2007-04-02T22:17:00.001-07:00

5 Ways to Show Affection

(Boy, I am going to butcher this one up.)
The other day S was talking to me about how there are 5 ways people show affection:

1.) Tokens: buying flowers, the candy, the car, the house, blah blah blah
2.) Physical: holding hands, kisses, blah blah blah
3.) Words: i *heart* you
4.) Time: ....time...
5.) Effort: making dinner, picking them up from work, blah blah

And when two people in a relationship, aren't aware of how the other person expresses themselves - that's when the miscommunication occurs.

i.e. I feel like my #1's are: physical and effort. i really enjoy holding hands or waking up next to someone. i really like to do the little things, like watching out to make sure they get inside the car or home or making sure their head doesn't fall through the crack of two pillows. with time and words really close behind. And if I look out for those with my partner but they associate differently, maybe w/tokens, then I'll feel like they don't care. (why doesn't he like to hold my hand? why doesn't he kiss my hand during movies anymore?) he'll reciprocate w/buying me flowers and i will think he doesn't care. that's what you call two completely separate pages.

I never thought of it this way. Looking back at past relationships, it made sense to me.

y

2007-04-02T22:04:00.000-07:00

?dew wee kair

neighbors

2007-04-01T23:28:00.000-07:00

if it's not my next door neighbors - f'ing, it's my upstairs neighbors f'ing.
if it's not my upstairs neighbors f'ing, it's my downstairs neighbors headbanging to loud a$$ music at freakishly late hours. if it's not my downstairs neighbors headbanging it's my upstairs neighbors fighting. if it's not my upstairs neighbors having a spat it's apparently my upstairs neighbors having a party of some sort on a sunday night stomping on the floors screaming bloody murder.

i can't wait for an answer any more, i've been wanting to leave this apt since i can remember. and with my lease up as of today i really wanted to be settled into a quieter place. it's so convenient being able to walk a block to vivace or to the other vivace two blocks away, walking to pike place or shopping downtown, not having to try to find parking on cap hill or downtown or being able to walk to war room but i'm giving my notice tomorrow and just going to cross my fingers for the next lease.

woohoo #2!!!

2007-03-28T20:09:00.000-07:00

got another email (fr: flickr)to use a pick I had for their blog!

Scoreboard Gourmet: Eating with the Mariners
http://www.scoreboardgourmet.com/2007/03/eating-with-mariners.html

woohoo!...doesn't take much to make me happy.

although i'm sure some ex-bfs would argue. (grrr...)

3:36 min of crazy laughter for me

2007-03-27T23:08:00.000-07:00

"Acid-trip-worthy robot is a better dancer than you are"
http://crave.cnet.com/8301-1_105-9701716-1.html?tag=nefd.aof

doesn't take much.

2007-03-19T23:11:00.000-07:00

today i got a msg from someone to use a pic i took at stanley park for an online article. woohoo! made my night.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/j0mammma/418273004/in/set-72157594583398803/

doesn't take much.

perfect

2007-03-18T14:44:00.000-07:00

sunday mornings.
they have to be the best.
this sunday morning we did our "Sunday Breakfast" @ Glo's on E. Olive.
Awesome food and Doreen joined us today.
As always getting there at 8am gives us an opportunity to miss the lines at all of the other brunch places on weekends.
Right after breakfast I headed up to UW since I had not walked the campus yet. And for a Sunday morning @ 10am, the day after St. Patricks, I was completely surprised at how many other wanderers wandered around w/their cameras. Given, it was mostly families w/their dogs and/or babies, there was still moderate foot traffic.
After my walk, I decided I should wash off the night before and went home to shower and freshen up. Then I headed out to the Fremont Sunday Market to pay a visit to the Kettle Korn lady and to my dismay, there was an empty hole where the kettle korn smell usually sprang up from. So I headed over for my second dose of caffeine. I sit here in Icon Coffee, trying to figure out - what my flickr pick is going to be...

the other place.

2007-03-12T23:03:00.000-07:00

i think i'm supposed to be in vancouver.
i wonder how i can make that happen...it's wonderful not having any ties or obligations.

zzz...

2007-03-04T22:58:00.000-08:00

boy i don't know where the energy level went?
i am so glad that we're starting to work out this week.
i can't blame old age, it's my lack of exercise...(ok, and sleep)

to-done list:

(Friday)
-landed SFO, 7:30pm (on time! woohoo!!)
-Jimmy/Bee/Gavin's Surprise Birthday Prom Party in Downtown Oakland

(Saturday)
-Kathy & Justin's Wedding at Presidio Chapel, 11am - 5pm'ish
*insert nap & dinner w/the family here*
-Steff's Bar w/Laurie and the gals for Wes' Bday
-Jimmy's Apt to see ppl already passed out & written on.

(Sunday)
-Dim Sum w/the family
*insert another nap*
-White Elephant Sale w/the lil cousins
-Cal Campus - photostroll w/G & frozen yogurt and his awesome Canon Digital SLR
-Meat Place for dinner w/Angie, Alvin, Brian, Andrew, Rada, Damon, Geoff, Ray
-BAR (Brian/Alvin/Ray's Place) to hang out for a bit and got to borrow Brian's 35mm Manual Camera!

to-do list:

(Monday)
-finish taxes
-catch BART to SF
-11am breakfast at Ferry Terminal w/Marlena
-12pm Hyatt to meet w/boss and go to office for the afternoon

(Tuesday)
-8:30am fly back to Sea-Tac (unfortunately calculating back, that means i would need to wake up pretty freakin' early...)
-10:30am - get picked up from airport to go directly to work for the rest of the day.

Out of the whole weekend so far, I think my highlights would be the hr I got to spend w/Nora and Devon. I got to give them scarves I made and they liked 'em. I got to walk w/them to a white elephant sale.

Nora (8yo) insisted on holding my hand the whole way.
Devon (12yo) insisted on wearing her scarf the whole way.

and last but not least, Nora grabbed my purse before I was about to leave saying I couldn't go. So there she was, pouting, crossing her arms and smiling and holding a purse that looked just terribly too big for her.

youtube

2007-02-28T22:22:00.000-08:00

i am so late.
i just started getting stuck on youtube earlier this week when i was craving to listen to some gwen and avril. and i started listening to more gwen...and more avril and then watched some justin and found natasha bedingfield and just plain got stuck.
better late than never (as i start avril - girlfriend =))

time 2 right

2007-02-26T23:42:00.000-08:00

i haven't written more than 2 lines in awhile.
i sit here in bed, winding down my body and mind.
recently, my sleeping habits have become something to be desired.
in between the neighbors, partying, f'ing and just all of the noise that effects ppl who have keen hearing - i have not been sleeping.
therefore whenever i hear peace and quiet in the apt, i try to grab it. i.e. yesterday afternoon when i could've been out taking pictures.
how is everything - ppl ask.
well, time to pack up again for ca.
if only i had listened to cinco and signed up for rapid rewards, i could've gotten a flight or two for free by now. this coming weekend is Fabros' wedding and also - work. Friday - Tuesday. The following weekend, is my first trip to Vancouver (woohoo!) can't wait! it's either going to be a solo trip for me, wandering, exploring and the excitement of getting lost in Canada or i'm going to torture M w/wandering, exploring and the excitment of getting lost in Canada - with my company. either way - i still can't wait. the following weekend angie is coming up to hang out and party! and the weekend after that i believe the parents may be taking their first trip up since my move.

i feel like it's that time, the time right before the perfect storm.

smitten

2007-02-23T18:05:00.000-08:00

"jump!"
tomorrow may never come...

world

2007-02-13T21:36:00.000-08:00

it really is a small world.

thin walls

2007-02-13T04:26:00.001-08:00

loud neighbors
no sleep
lease up
need to move

my one chance

2007-02-11T10:33:00.000-08:00

setting: volunteer desk @ library

jo: morning
stranger: yeah i really like this building - are you married?
jo:.........huh?
stranger: are you married (looking at my hand) do you want to get married?
jo:......uh, not today thanks!
stranger: what's your schedule? i'll come visit you.
jo:........uh, no that's ok!
(insert uncomfortable small talk)
segue to guy yelling my name a few feet away standing at a donation box saying he's donating this dime for me...
great - now i'll never get married!

interested in a group?

2007-02-08T23:20:00.000-08:00

i sent out a blanket email a while back at my company to see if anyone wanted to practice shooting at lunch.
by surprise i got responses (plural!)
so i'm attempting to get a group together.
so far there's about 15 ppl on the distribution list including myself.
i've never participated in an interest group.
i've been listed on the seattle-flickr group since i got here and still haven't made it to a photo stroll.
but i'm trying to get this off the ground.
and it's challenging - mostly because i have no idea what it takes.
i've started a flickr group: step 1 - finding a common site to share info and pictures. 5 other members on there so far.
we've designated two days of the week for activities during lunch.
wednesdays are stroll days.
fridays are inside days. reviewing assignments and such.
tomorrow is the first group "activity" however. the other days were strolls and sit downs but tomorrow - one gal is bringing in her portable studio so we can play around w/lighting and such.
but keeping this altogether - man, talk about a challenge. it's interesting though, i'm trying to keep everyone updated, trying to keep info circulating, events going, ppl engaged - it's hard! "i have no idea what i'm doing!" we're starting a wiki (i didn't even know what the wiki was for and now i'm editing!) and scheduling out assignments and such. it's fun. it's hard. but boy, i'm trying...

dorkbot

2007-02-07T21:56:00.000-08:00

"i've broken Seattle!"
i've now attended a dorkbot mtg.
who knew they existed?
http://dorkbot.org/dorkbotsea/

new

2007-02-06T21:58:00.000-08:00

they say you should learn something new every day.
today at 2am i learned that my downstairs neighbors like to have really loud head banger parties until dang near 330am. on a monday night. tuesday morning?...
as a really light sleeper, i didn't miss out on this knowledge for the day. yay - neighbors
=P

My Dessert Personality Results

2007-02-01T04:27:00.000-08:00

Here a re your choices:

1. Angel Food Cake

2. Brownies

3. Lemon Meringue

4. Vanilla Cake With Chocolate Icing

5. Strawberry Short Cake

6. Chocolate on Chocolate

7. Ice Cream

8. Carrot Cake

I CHOSE:

CARROT CAKE -- You are a very fun loving person,
Who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People
like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hear ted
Person and a little quirky at times. You have many
Loyal friends.

sleep

2007-02-01T04:18:00.000-08:00

some would say it's the high caffeine intake yesterday.
some would say it's the stress.
some would say it's my upstairs neighbor who likes to randomly yell out and cuss during the night (being the light sleeper i am...)
i say it's me not knowing what i'm supposed to do now or say tomorrow.

ready

2007-01-31T19:09:00.000-08:00

i'm not ready.
i just got here.

Email of the Day

2007-01-24T21:07:00.001-08:00

"Ha, you are addicted to photos! I think you want your schedule to look like:

7-8 Take pictures of self waking up, eating breakfast, and getting ready for work

8-8:30 Take pictures of self driving to work

8:30-noon Take pictures of self and others working

Noon-1 Take pictures of self and others eating food

1-3:30 Take pictures of self web surfing and generally screwing around

3:30-5 Take pictures of the people you saw outside who were taking pictures

5-6 Take pictures of terrible traffic on the way home

6-7 Take pictures of dinner

7-7:05 Five minute break to just wolf the food down

7:05-7:15 Take pictures of self being upset for not taking pictures for 5 minutes

7:15-9 Take pictures of the updates you’ve make to Flickr

>9 Sleep with camera under pillow, dreaming about photos"

doing what.

2007-01-21T21:28:00.000-08:00

i'm knitting my 2nd scarf!
i went to choy suey for the first time last night. tomorrow is open mic night.
i still don't have cable or bunny ears or a microwave and my heater is being dumb.
i'm still volunteering at the library. which was interesting this past weekend - seattle hosted the ALA (American Library Association) Mid-Winter Mtg ---> = a freakin' lot of librarians on my shift.
i'm still reading "Naked".
i am trying to start up a photo-interest group at work. 1st mtg is this coming wk.
i'm trying to cook more.
i'm looking forward to going to LA this coming wknd and Oakland the weekend after.
i'm still *very* addicted to flickr.

"time

2007-01-15T18:47:00.000-08:00

...it's a tricky lil f'r"

quote from: Closer

(I've been here almost a yr - i don't know how i feel about that)

passive.aggressive.silence.

2007-01-12T23:33:00.000-08:00

Dictionary.com says:

"work ethic
n. A set of values based on the moral virtues of hard work and diligence."

meant to be

2007-01-09T20:42:00.000-08:00

do you ever think things are just not meant to happen?

i forgot to set my alarm for sunday morning. i woke up to see 10:30am staring back at me. i need to be there at 11:30am, i can still do this. *insert 30 min snooze* as i scurried out the door, i just remembered i forgot the address. so i turned my laptop back on and "eye-balled" the location. should take 10 min or less. i shut down my computer and sat up. (crap! what the heck is their name?!) i turned my laptop back on again, T#*$. got it. man, i don't have time to go to the bank, i'll have to cross my fingers this venue i chose on the internet, takes credit/debit cards. then my phone rang. sure i have time to talk daniel! i talked to him all the way down to queen anne, so much so i already forgot the address. *dangit!* so i had daniel look it up on the internet. got there, 15 min late - and it was "CLOSED". ??? i looked it up online.........i think. i scanned the area and did not see 'em staying around. i turned to the employee from next door on his cig break "excuse me, is this dolce vitta - they serve gelato?" "this is the restaurant and they do serve gelato but their other shop is over there but it's closed down". oops.

no, doesn't even stop there. i go straight home to e-mail a sorry. and got their # right away. turns out the address i gave them was for the "closed down gelateria" which was now a BBQ place. that's where they were and then they headed down to the restaurant but left because it's not open on sundays. so we rescheduled for next friday. and right when i hung up the phone, i realized i had my boss' wedding. too embarassed to call back. i txt msg'd and we rescheduled for saturday. "ok!" oops. i have to do my library shift saturday-day, so i txt'd again.

we're not meant to meet.

just like i'm meant to go to this wedding on friday by myself.

i got a wedding invitation beginning of december. and i knew it was a while away so i didn't even look at the RSVP deadline. end of dec, i found a victim to ask to join in the festivities with me. but the RSVP had passed by more than 10 days. so my plan of action was to put the RSVP "+1" on the person's desk and just say sorry it's late!! so i packed the RSVP in my bag of goodies to bring into work and carried it in a bag with a bunch of other papers...papers that i brought to work to SHRED! phooey. so i ended up e-mailing the bride and said that i'm sorry i am late but if it's still possible, wanted to RSVP. i was too embarassed to ask if it was still for "+1"...i'm going stag! woohoo. just not meant to happen.

rambling california clothed eyeballs

2007-01-08T20:17:00.000-08:00

i ramble when i'm nervous. i didn't know that. i wonder if other ppl noticed and just never told me for sh!ts and giggles. hmph.

for some unknown reason i've had this growing fear of having papercuts on my eyeballs.

i have *no* idea where it's come from.

i'm going back to oakland! i'm somewhat excited. it really hasn't been that long but in other lights, it really has. it's less than a month away and it's already scheduled to the t. can't wait.

i've never seen so many clothed pets as i have in seattle. is it really that cold? they all have jackets and sweaters. all. ALL!!

extended..........

2007-01-08T19:44:00.000-08:00

i am extended.
my contract is now through 4/07.
...........

monologue

2007-01-07T17:47:00.000-08:00

why do we feel the need to impress?
why is it human nature to put on the best on the first impression, whether it's you or not? i know it may seem relevant to tell me about the places you've lived, the tri-atholons you've done and the languages you speak, what you're not afraid of and how you've always been the adventurous one out of the family - all in the same breath. but. let's talk about something other than you. just for a second. let's talk about that kid picking his nose. or the candy that just spilled on the ground next to me. or the way ppl. always seem to talk on their cell phones when they're in line to pay for things. i know that you want to paint your picture and paint it nicely but let's talk about anything else. something else. just for a second.

i don't see it as a meeting to describe what a great person you are. you're not trying to sell yourself. you're there to see if there's a connection. friendship has to start somewhere. and it's mutual. it's not based on how many languages you speak or how many miles you've ridden on your bike. it's about the connections. it's a two-way street.

butter

2007-01-06T14:11:00.000-08:00

i butter my toast now.
for the longest time i would eat it dry. or i would use jam or peanut butter.
i would not butter my toast.
but as i was mixing up my omelette and i took the toast out of the toaster, i reached for the butter and thought how things change.
i drink beer now.
i hated beer before.
but now i have lambic, guiness and hefenweizen in my frig.
i attribute it to gf and s ordering beers and me wanting to try 'em. i can already know that i will like the stella artois if i order it, one called something close to hoegarden or something, guiness and black/tans but kinda open to the ales, ambers not much of a lager person but sometimes.
i like bars more than clubs now. this one is iffy, i might not have just liked the crowd/music last night. but really - people just change.

drunken blogging

2007-01-06T02:38:00.001-08:00

what if i were to move tomorrow? what if i called my seattle experience over with. would i be satisified with where i'm at now? would i be content with the places i've discovered and the ppl that i've met since i've moved? have i personally grown in the ways that i wanted to? did i visit the places that i wanted to? would i be happy with packing up my life again?

ppl always say that they hope i find what i'm looking for. (even my mother said that...wtf?!) but am i really looking for anything or am i just looking to reconfirm who i am? maybe i am not restricting myself as much? just a different take on life? the more i hear that "wish" everyone says the more pressure i feel. because i'm not spending my time looking for anything but trying to be more open to really appreciating what's around me.

it hailed today. it rained a bit. and it was really windy. and i did peek a sun at one point. it's looking like snow next week. and it might be an awesome sunny morning. the weather, isn't the suicidal weather associated with seattle but it sure is different. and boy do we really appreciate it when we do see the sun! when i wanted to move here i didn't think i could handle the rain. i never really liked the rain much. and sure it rains here, but it's nowhere near my imagination.
marie said she felt like that moment in sliding doors. and i told her that maybe coincidences aren't really just coincidences and that maybe things happen for a reason. and maybe i need to consider my words.

i don't know which way is up now. i don't know what i'm to do now. yesterday i had no options and now i have too many. i don't know which risk to take. i only know that i can't wait for anything for tomorrow. that i can't wake up tomorrow knowing i put off what i was going to do today. but what if i up and packed up my life again - would i be happy?

small world

2007-01-04T23:08:00.000-08:00

jan of last year i interviewed for a job in Renton, WA. it was my one trip to solidify jobs/housing in Seattle.
i got a sublet that visit.
and a few interviews.
one i told the recruiter the environment wasn't right. perfect job but wrong environment.

...7 months later. i end up contracting 3 floors above them. to understand this you need to know that there's only two companies in that...this building. what a small small world.

funktified

2007-01-02T19:22:00.000-08:00

*poof*

and it's gone!

i'm going back to the Bay!

maybe that's all I really needed....

(only for a weekend =))

sleep.

2007-01-02T00:25:00.000-08:00

i can't sleep.
i don't know why.

well, i mean i think it's a combination of different unknown and uncontrollable items. and even controllable for that matter.

currently applying for jobs right now.
currently coming to the realization that it's 2007.
currently thinking about how i still don't have a microwave, after almost 8 months.
currently hearing the waterstream hitting my window sill.
currently remembering how i need to study for my volunteer gig before saturday.
currently realizing how i have been overly consumed with flickr'ing lately. (talk about a hobby gone wrong!)
currently vowing touse the gym after work tomorrow.
currently wondering how my interview will go on wednesday.
currently admiring how my coworker really calmed me on friday when i really really needed it.
currently wondering if S is having fun and being safe.
currently wondering what john mayer is saying on my iPod right now ("this is a song about talking to the person you haven't even met yet.............................he's out there. she's out there. they're just learning what to contrast you against")

Nutcracker March Statue - done.

2007-01-01T20:42:00.000-08:00

So my search was finished before the strike of midnight - sorta kinda.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/j0mammma/sets/72157594442171405/

On both Saturday and Sunday I woke up early to grab Vivace around noon'ish before my journey. I had my Timbuk2 packed with my camera, a pen (to mark my searches), an extra camera battery and phone. I also printed out the map of the statues on the website:
www.nutcrackermarch.org/

The "challenge" with the map is that it "estimated the location". i.e. One was clearly located at Pike Place Market.......*scratching head*. If you have gone to Pike Place in between xmas and NYE - you see the problem. Not only do you have no idea where at Pike Place (inside, outside, across the street, downstairs, behind on western or what) it is but you have a bunch of ppl in your way.

Another was sponsored by Macys but the employees I asked, had no clue.

These statues, across the street, a street over, were in buildings, in windows of buildings (I found out the hard way) or outside of buildings or in corners of Post Alley where you'd never look. This scavenger hunt was very rewarding with the exception of the last statue.

Both Saturday and Sunday I wouldn't stop to eat or stop to rest regularly. I think Sunday closer to 3pm'ish I stopped on the waterfront to talk to Cinco for a few minutes, otherwise I was going non-stop. oh! I take that back, Sunday while in Pioneer Square, I stopped to buy my reward. A caramel peanut apple from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. To be eaten after I finished. I was determined to find all the statues by foot. I wanted to get exercise and get more familiar with Seattle (says the geographically challenged chick). I did that and more considering these statues were in downtown, on the waterfront, in pioneer square, the financial area or seattle center *sigh*. And then walking back up the hill to Cap Hill. My legs felt like they were going into shock. My body was completely foreign to this excertion.

But alas, that last statue. My last stop was Seattle Center. I headed over from the Waterfront yesterday around 4pm'ish. I walked most of the Center, bright-eyed and bushy tailed to get my last two! According to the map, they were together. As I walked in front of McCaw Hall I saw one. And I made at least 3 trips around the area. For the most part, I would not opt to ask ppl. I tried to find these statues by myself. At Macys, I asked at least 7 employees, this showed my desperation. But I finally walked up to a gentleman setting up for some NYE celebration. And he looked at me "Honey, you're a bit late. The Nutcracker is over. There's 1 (pointing to the 1 I already found) right there." "oh thanks! Yeah, according to the map, there's another one around here?" "oh yeah, he was a blue one, they've already taken him away."

wtf!??!?!?!! no!!!!!!!! *sigh* no!!!!! I walked over 10 hrs within 2 days. I got 40 in that time and you're going to tell me that last one. that freakin' last one - is gone!?

I had fun nonetheless. And supposedly there's going to be 100 pigs around Seattle for the Pike Place Market Centennial Celebration this coming summer. ohhhhh man, another scavenger hunt - can't wait!

http://www.pikeplacemarket.org/frameset.asp?flash=true

Nutcracker March Statues

2006-12-26T22:22:00.000-08:00

i just had a mini heart attack.
i've been randomly taking pictures of those nutcracker march statues around town and have been trying to get as many as possible, without looking on the website for direction and on foot.
i searched for the statues on flickr and saw some that i hadn't found yet....and wondered....
i just cheated (and went on the website http://www.nutcrackermarch.org/) to see how many there were.
there's 60!! i only found 19.
i
need
them
all
now.

i will get them all before '07...........

Holidays

2006-12-26T21:32:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving:
For Thanksgiving, my brother and cousin - Nicolette sent me a picture of a plate of cookies and brownies. But not just any ol' cookies, these were the highly sought out thumbprint cookies that my aunt makes. These were the cookies that I would consume every holiday, for like the whole last hour of whatever holiday it really was. I would sit there and switch between thumbprint cookies and other cookies and/or brownies but mostly these darn thumbprint cookies. They are like crack.
The caption read "SUCKA!"
geez, thanks.

It fit quite nicely considering my last (myspace) comment from Nicolette (before leaving for seattle) was a picture of us at a holiday function, asking who's going to sit w/her at the dessert table?!

Christmas:
For Christmas, we have two gatherings, lunchtime - mom's side. dinnertime - dad's side.
I asked for pictures of my lil cousins, which my brother sent me throughout the day.
Dad's side. He sent more pictures of the cousins from my mom's side (err...guilty of playing favorites)...When I was about to set my alarm before I went to sleep, I found my ultimate Christmas Picture Msg (as seen above) this time the caption read "B!tch" and features my cousin, brother and sister - EATING MY COOKIES!!!!!!
but when I asked my brother on the phone today it was actually supposed to be "Biottchhhhhhhh!!!"

geez, thanks. snatches.

23 min left of christmas.

2006-12-25T23:27:00.000-08:00

staying in WA for Christmas and i still ate all-day.
all-day. =)
it felt good until the last part, where i really did not need to finish the whole gyro and baklava. ugh.
good times. it just hurt. no - space - must - stop - eating!!
this is when my brother would usually poke my stomach to give me a clue.
but uh, no rescue in sight, jo - just kept on eating =)

shhhh...........

2006-12-24T03:31:00.000-08:00

i can't wait until the apt party stops downstairs so i can finally - SLEEP *sigh*

today was an awesome saturday. awesome.

oops

2006-12-22T17:33:00.000-08:00

how awkward is it to realize that the wedding invitation that you had received from your boss was actually due on 12/10/06. and you just realized it.
oops.
i swear i hadn't had it that long.....she must've given it to me on the 9th or something....=)

2006

2006-12-21T08:43:00.000-08:00

with all of this time on my hands at home (cluster headache = home a lot), doing nothing i started searching through old blogs.

around this time i start thinking about the past year and everything that's 'been'.

2006 was interesting to say the least.
when i started thinking about seattle in november of 2005, i said i wanted to fall.
aiyaaaaaahhhh - well, someone poo'd on their own doorstep. but i've done that and more =)

Jo's 2006:
4 different employers
3 different residences
___ bad dates
1st white boy (dated)....hahaha?
1 scary (borderline manic) friend encounter
1st time driving in snow
1st scarf knitted (still knitting)
1st novel......attempted =/
1st time in Canada
1st time dog sitting overnight by myself (yorkshire terrier PUPPY sitting actually)
1st "migraine" or "cluster headache" - whatever it is - first time!
1st time in the movie theater by myself
1st time eating out by myself
(i don't know how i would classify my 1/06 trip to seattle, traveling alone by myself? even though now it's my home? but my 1/06 trip was awesome.)
1st time rentng a car by myself.
1st time in Portland
1st time donating blood
1st time plunging my own toilet (not my 1st time clogging my own toilet.....)
1st apt rented by myself
1st couch purchase
1st time being employed in two different states at the same time
1st time getting picked up by a taxi driver
1st time my work has been closed due to a power outage from a windstorm
1st time my work has given us the option to work at home due to the safety of getting to work with snow and freezing rain. (we don't have these concerns in oakland......it's different.....)
1st Thanksgiving/Xmas w/o family

*brain fart* to be continued

cluster headache

2006-12-20T22:04:00.000-08:00

that's what the dr. said after i waited 5 hrs to see someone.
but as i'm reading it right now i don't think that's what i have.
It's not near my eyes but the lower back of my neck and it so lasted more than 3 hrs...everything else sounds right though. it does wake me up, i did drink vodka saturday night which would trigger it, it does hurt like heck, i do pace around aimlessly...the "cluster" part = sunday/monday/tuesday...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cluster_headache

"Cluster headaches are rare, extremely painful and debilitating headaches that occur in groups or clusters.

Signs and symptoms

Cluster headache sufferers typically experience very severe headaches of a piercing quality near one eye or temple that last for fifteen minutes to three hours. The headaches are usually unilateral and occasionally change sides.

Pain

Persons who have experienced both cluster headaches and other painful conditions (childbirth, migraines) report that the pain of cluster headaches is far worse, significantly more severe than a migraine.^[1] The pain has been described as akin to being stabbed repeatedly in the eye with an ice pick^[2] or hot poker. ^[3] It has been described in medical journals as one of the most severe pain syndromes suffered by human beings.^[4]"

Migraines sound too similiar: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Migraine

I don't know what it is, but I'm hoping it will stop now. thanks!

contemplating

2006-12-20T11:17:00.000-08:00

i'm sitting in bed right now.
dressed for work.
with a slightly less severe ache.
so i plan to go to work right now.
but it feels like it could creep up on my at any moment.
i definitely don't feel "good" it just doesn't feel as bad as last night.
i don't have sick time and i don't have insurance.
which means i need to go to work to pay my rent and i can't go see a dr.
hmmm....what a dilemma.
what if it creeps up on my while i'm at work? how would i get home?
or when i'm driving?
it feels like there's gonna be another one soon, i just don't know when.
oh what to do.

desperate

2006-12-19T23:23:00.000-08:00

is taking 5 excedrin-migraine within 24hrs before realizing the maximum is actually 2.
it - won't - stop.
*sigh*

awesome.

2006-12-19T20:26:00.000-08:00

awesome is having your name included on a birthday cake in CA while you're in WA at a surprise party that you couldn't fly out for.

that's awesome.

my brain!

2006-12-19T19:44:00.000-08:00

i'm supposed to be eating crab right now.
i'm supposed to be enjoying a wonderful fun filled evening with my fair shelled friends.
but i'm sitting in bed, stuck with this pulsating pain in my dome.
it's my 3rd migraine since saturday night/sunday morning.
and if my parents knew that they would kill me.
literally kill me.
you know, some would say that to exaggerate but they would literally kill me.
i'm only guessing from the 6 months they've been telling me to get health insurance since i'm contracting. but hey, only a guess.
it feels like - man, i can't even describe the feeling. but it comes with nausea - woohoo! i barely ate anything today because of it, actually haven't eaten much recently because of it.
i used to not wish insomnia on anyone but pls. put migraines on top of that list because this sucks poo-poo.

itsy bitsy spider

2006-12-18T21:25:00.000-08:00

last night i saw him.
he was sitting ever so still on my eye makeup remover bottle in the bathroom.
reluctant to kill him. (scared is more like it)
i shoved him into the sink and drowned him in H20.
i closed the sink so he couldn't climb back out and called it a night.
this morning when i looked at the sink it was open.
that's right! i woke up to use the restroom and forgot to close the sink back up after washing my hands.
i wonder.....
no, he couldn't have climbed back out.
(a day passes)
and if it's 9:27pm right now, it must've been around 9pm that i was getting into bed and who do i see?!!? the spider!! right where i usually lay down!
he came back out and crawled up the sink, down the counter, out the door, down the hall into my bedroom, up my bed - into my bed, waiting for me to not see him so i could swallow him in the night - revenge at its finest!!! yet i killed him.
and i swear i swear it was the SAME spider!? no one will believe me but next time i come across a spider, i will make sure i kill 'em the first time *grrrrr....*

migraine headaches

2006-12-18T18:03:00.000-08:00

i've been lucky enough to last 29 years without migraine headaches so i'm a bit perplexed at why i am unlucky as of right now?
it started saturday night/sunday morning at 6am and i thought it was part of a hangover due to the mojito, kettle shot and rock star/kettle i consumed. yet, when i was woken up sunday night due to an even more excuriating migraine that brought me to tears - i realized it had to be more. i've been in bed practically all day. i made myself walk a block for internet connection so i can research if this is indeed a migraine and what the heck i'm supposed to do to ensure it does not effect my 8am interview in bellevue tomorrow.
*sigh*
why am i being tried now?
*sigh*
i can do this.
i have to do this.
(back to researching...)

j

2006-12-17T16:55:00.000-08:00

Everything happens for a reason. I've heard that many times before but yesterday I thought I saw it come into place. Yesterday after the library and after wandering around downtown I walked to Pike Place. I had my camera with me and thought I'd see if they had any holiday decorations before heading to Sea-Tac. I was on the phone walking down the street when I decided haphazardly that I wanted to check out the flower bouquets. So I crossed the street immediately and headed into the market. As I merged into the the busy bundle of bodies in the market, I turned to my left to ensure I didn't bump into anyone. And as I turned who do I see immediately to my left? J. And as we turned, I awkwardly had about 2 seconds to decide if I had any room to quickly shuffle my feet before he recognizes me. "Hey...." I say with the most obvious hesitation. "Hey how's it going?" "Good, and you?" "Good"......*insert completely awkward silence considering we both did not have anything else to say to each other* so I turned to keep walking in front of him and continued my phone conversation. seattle is small but i didn't know it was that small.

not good

2006-12-17T16:32:00.000-08:00

not that i feel bad.
but i don't feel good.

after the storm, i haven't had internet connection until today.
@ Vita's right now.

and i miscalculated my volunteer gig that was YESTERDAY.
terrible feeling, flaking when you're the only person scheduled for that time.
Purrfect Pals is the organization. And it was to wrap presents in the Barnes and Noble @ Crossroads in Bellevue.

So how did I spend my time instead?
Picked Aileen up from the airport and watched Lost before heading out to Bleu Bistro and Linda's Tavern.

Just a bad judgement call. I was going to check my email @ the library after my volunteer gig from 10-2pm but the internet connection was down at the library too!?! (some very unhappy patrons.) so i just thought - "it's ok! it's not till next weekend anyways!" no....nope - it was yesterday.

I'm sitting here checking my email and i just received the rejection e-mail from my interview last week. *sigh* not a good feeling. i'm hoping this tuesday will work out better.

My feelings recently have been somewhat up and down.
I've been fairly happy with finding different volunteer gigs to involve myself with. But fairly unhappy with not knowing where I'm going to be employed next month. (contracts suck!) I've been happy with my ability to continously send out my holiday cards to friends miles and miles away - but i've been unhappy at the thought of not seeing them this year. I've been happy with my ability to keep in touch with my brother on a regular basis but unhappy with my ability to get lost in Season 1 of Lost. I've been happy with my continous employment throughout this year considering the move but unhappy with knowing that for my taxes for 2006, I will have at least 4 employers sending me w-2s. I've tried to keep optimistic about the unknown but sometimes I just get lost in it.

I wonder how I'll feel tomorrow.

Daniel Henney speechless

2006-12-12T22:21:00.000-08:00

msgs

2006-12-10T22:00:00.000-08:00

my parents like to send e-cards.

i delayed a bit, but just clicked on my parents cards. they sent individual ones.

my mom sent a mushy-gushy Hallmark one. Saying all of the motherly things and ended it somewhat predictable by saying I need to eat more food. And to stay warm. predictable.

my dad sent one that was somewhat more flashy - bright neon colors, I assume to try to be more "hip"!? and in the personalized section, did not tell me to get on my health insurance, or to stay safe, to find a permanent job or to make sure i lock my doors at night but -->

"Jo, Happy Birthday. Have fun, but not too much. Dad"

awesome =)

Volunteering

2006-12-10T13:03:00.000-08:00

I almost felt bad.
I almost felt bad when my alarm went off at 5:30am this morning and I pressed snooze. I must have pressed snooze or off or something because I did not wake up until 6:53am.

This might be early considering it's a Sunday morning.
But it was actually late considering I was supposed to be at the Volunteer booth at 6:30am at Westlake Center.

And I almost felt bad that I did not make it to duty. My guilt subsided when I recalled the Volunteer Coordinator at the Library who passive-agressively (?) got mad at me when I told her I did not sign up for the Saturday shift she called to confirm. She called to confirm a Saturday, 10am shift at Friday, 5:10pm - that I had not agreed to. And in telling her I had not signed up for that but did not want to leave her high and dry the day before(therefore saying I could still be there), she made the executive decision to find someone else. She wanted to find someone else because I was not "prepared". As we closed our conversation and I told her sorry about the mix up - she hung up. She hung up abruptly, even though, she confirmed during orientation "I would not sign you up for shifts without confirming with you before".!? And also after we had both signed me up for Saturday shifts every Saturday in December, except yesterday. She is also the same Volunteer Coordinator who waited a month to contact me for an orientation.

So in the end I was able to transfer the miscommunication with the Seattle Public Library and ease my guilt for a completely separate volunteer organization that really was counting on me to be there this morning at 6:30am for their benefit event.

Ah, well, at least I feel better now =)

Irreplaceable

2006-12-09T00:30:00.000-08:00

When I lived in Oakland, there was a theater we would sometimes frequent. Sometimes, but not regularly. Parkway Theater. They would have $2.50 movies on Wednesdays. They had cheap food, served alcohol and had comfy couches as long as you got there early. It was close by. It was a great deal. The food was inexpensive therefore usually a line. The couches were limited so it usually took at least two people - one to run and grab a couch and the other to get the grub. I miss it. I miss it, along with "The Meat Place" - that has awesome korean food and this killer salad! I miss arizmendis pizza. I miss the Kettle Korn guy at the farmers market by Grand Lake Theater.

But as I was looking for volunteer gigs recently, I came across Central Cinema. Central Cinema is based on 3 theaters and one of them being Parkway!! --> http://www.central-cinema.com/news/index.htm

What a coincidence!?

So I found it and we just came back from watching Citizen Kane! Too bad I watched it when Hearst Castle is only a million more miles away from me now!? The showing was at 9:15pm but since I only had soup for lunch, I caved and ate dinner when I got home. I was saving it for the yummy menu but once we got there and I started ordering, well, let's just say I pretty much had my beer, my salad with the complimentary toasted focaccia, most of the popcorn with curry seasoning and a slice of his pizza and all of the chocolate orange creme brulee ALL TO MYSELF.

Central Cinema -->
http://www.central-cinema.com/

Parkway Theater -->
http://www.picturepubpizza.com/

power of word

2006-12-05T22:59:00.000-08:00

having just come back from 'half' of a poetry slam, i was reminded about the power of word.

http://www.poetswest.com/venues.htm

and how i have been neglecting that power and this blog. and i have no idea why. in a state confusion. all the marbles all the balls - flying everywhere.

my first day volunteering at the library was awesome. i will get to know more about the library and seattle - by default. it's a 10-2pm shift on alternating saturdays so it's a fabulous hop-skip-jump over to grab some caffeine and a nice leisure walk over. by the time i get out - there's a whole day ahead! fresh start! feeling good!

i've set up the rest of my saturdays and some sundays (i think 3 of 'em?) for december for random volunteering events. i'm still continuing my knitting until i can master the "cast on" and "cast off" before crochet class. I'm hoping that'll be january since december - well, ain't happening.

i've convinced my brother to do all of the family holiday shopping since he'll be there in person to give the presents away - and he bought it! sucka! i'm terrible at picking out gifts! but i do have to partake on the long winded phone calls that always end up with him picking out the gift anyways!? hello??

i've been knee deep into making my holiday cards and also Scarecrow Video http://www.scarecrow.com/ dvds and preparing for my baking event. every holiday i can find an excuse for it-i like passing out the baked goods to peeps. a great way to excuse myself from tasting as many as possible.

today a lady honked at me for stopping at a yellow light.

i just confirmed my second interview for my perfect job. (perfect for me right now) nervous - uh, kinda!?

i've been trying to calculate how much HR classes will really cost.

i've been starting to apt shop - to get an idea for when my lease is up.

i've been having problems sleeping because i keep imagining the honks that go off in the parking lot - are really mine.

i'm truly convinced that the neighbors above me, the ones i've never seen, are really HUGE heavy people. who are loud drunks and overall angry ppl with a hyperactive wolf for a pet because - seriously, there's not really any other excuse.

beep beep

2006-12-02T01:13:00.000-08:00

*woken up by a familiar beeping sound.*

some mother f'r just tried to break into my car.

numbers

2006-11-29T22:18:00.000-08:00

Between Monday night and Tuesday morning, King County troopers responded to 653 calls for assistance, 242 of those because of collisions.
Troopers impounded more than 40 abandoned cars.
In Snohomish, Skagit and Whatcom counties, troopers responded to 687 collisions between Sunday and Tuesday.
At 4 a.m. today, the temperature at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport plunged to 18 degrees, breaking a 31-year-old record of 22 degrees, making it the coldest Nov. 29 in Seattle history.
November's precipitation tally at Seattle Tacoma International Airport stands at 15.26 inches, just shy of the 15.33 inches of rain that made December 1933 the wettest month since weather record-keeping began in the 1890s. The 1933 record was set at the Federal Building in Seattle, where rain was measured until the 1960s. The National Weather Service began measuring rainfall at the airport in 1945.

White Powder

2006-11-28T21:18:00.000-08:00

I was never one to monitor weather reports or traffic reports.
I've lived in the Bay Area for most of my life. My 4.5 yrs worth of vacation being spent in San Luis Obispo.....but note, I'm still in California. Extreme temperatures aren't in my radar. They never have been. Extreme traffic - eh, I usually just start the cussing when I get there instead of before.

Sunday I looked out the window while we watched "Happiness" (awesome movie!~) and thought - omigod - it's snowing! so....pretty....*sigh. click click click - (that's my camera)*
Then the movie finished and immediately I thought I should go home to ensure I could....well, get there safely in the white pretty powdery pretty snow. Thankful that I only lived about 5 min away.
And I went.

Without another thought I drove into work on Monday.
Working in Renton there's a slight difference in temperature - always cooler.
About 20 min south of downtown Seattle (on I-5).
By about 3pm Monday it started to snow. 'Omigosh - look outside!' so pretty - I thought as I turned back to my keyboard and continued to type. And again, without a thought I went on the treadmill as the clock turned 5pm. Not wanting to jump into traffic. I'll wait it off. As my coworker came into the makeshift gym and mentioned that we were risking it cuz it's still snowing outside......"snowing!?" "yup".......I calculated and got off the treadmill within the next 5 min still undermining the real commute home. But it gets dark by 5pm. And on Monday it was dark and completely deserted by the time I walked out the door into a blanket of white powder. There weren't even any tire tracks, it looked as if no one had ever been there. Even my Sauconys were slipping and sliding. I was all alone in the parking lot as I brushed off the snow on my windshield with a leftover McDonalds napkin from the passenger floormat. I got behind the wheel and started the car. "I think I can I think I can". I hadn't even gone more than a foot or two before the fishtailing started. It takes me about 5 min to get to the freeway and about 30 min door-to-door. Monday took me less than 1.5 hrs. within the first 2 blocks I was about to pull over to the side of the curb and cry. I could not drive. My car would not do anything. *stop. go. stop. go* I wasn't moving more than 2 miles an hr but with every stop I swerved even more. I wasn't driving my car and I wasn't sure how I was going to make it home. 14 miles. I wanted to call my friends or my family. pick me up. I can't do this. I wanted to sleep in my car so I wouldn't have to do this again the next day. But it was me. Only me. I think I can I think I can. It may sound silly but last night was my first time driving in snow and I never want to do it again.

This morning, I looked out the window and saw the snow still on my car but the parking lot ground was clear. 33 degrees. low 18 degrees. I will be fine. But....again, by the time I got to Renton, still covered in snow. still icy. And! and! still deserted.......little did I know, today was *at your own discretion*.....so I didn't have to cuss at my car when I continued to fishtail at the stoplights this morning! Not too thrilled about living up on that hill now. I could've stayed home - safely. dangit.

The next potential snow is tomorrow afternoon. And I'm debating.
commute --> 1.5 hrs w/3 buses (if they're even running). or 30 min scary jo-driving? or just not getting paid.

Omg. this is the bottom of the hill where I used to live. That could've been me!

oh the options are endless.....Seattle and Jo are not equipped for snow. Seattle shuts down. Abandoned cars, stalled buses, traffic into the night. Jo could too. it's definitely prettier - in pictures. or at least stationary. Pretty much anywhere except behind the wheel.

But..........I did it. Monday about 6pm I didn't think I could - but I did it. =)

MADD

2006-11-21T21:36:00.000-08:00

yesterday i made it over to M.A.D.D. slightly after 530pm.
i found them on craigslist.org and then again 5 min away from my work.
we slipped ribbons in flyers they're going to hand out at the seahawks game on monday.
i did 500 in 2.5hrs. (my fingers hurt so much that when i came home to knit, i was like - what the heck am i doing!? those carpal tunnel exercises don't seem too silly now!)
did i pick them on purpose?
considering i couldn't even count how many times i got busted and scolded for driving buzzed - no.
but i do feel like i got something out of it.
i got to hear some lady ask me if i was also in high school (3 other volunteers were in high school)........!?
i got to hear stories swapped of ppl. w/alcoholic family members and i got to see a really strong lady who was a survivor. she was one of their outreach reps. i'm going to go in to help them with a project - i'm estimating a few more times throughout this yr. i like to avg closer to 1/wk. i'm hoping that in working with them that i'll think twice about driving buzzed esp on the slick roads.

it was hard requesting to come into work on wednesday and friday considering the office would be closed but.....oh well..............*sighhhhhhhh* wish you could read my mind.

winter

2006-11-18T13:41:00.000-08:00

with the newly anticipated "seattle winter" - i've been attempting to find activities to keep me out of hibernation mode.

i am at the Central Library right now. recently finished my volunteer orientation and signed up for 3 saturdays in Dec to volunteer. I signed up for the Info Desk because I thought it would be a good kick in the rear to get to know the Library and Seattle. The Info Desk is asked to provide direction/information on not only the Library but random details and reference info on seattle sites.

My goal is to not stay at home - just because it's raining or hailing or storming - whatever.
I guess this is why I still don't have tv set up - the bunny ears or cable. I have my Beginning Knitting class tomorrow morning - Aileen decided to join. If I like it, I'm also going to sign up for a Crochet Class on Tuesday (how awesome would that be to make all of my own scarves & blankets!). Monday after work I'm doing a data entry volunteer gig at MADD in Kent. I also signed up for a Winters Brew Festival on the 2nd & A Jingle Bell Walkathon @ Westlake on the 10th.

I'll be spending Thanksgiving/Xmas/NYE in Seattle - being away from the family routines, it's going to be interesting. Not too sure when I'll be going back to CA - which will be interesting for my parents.

I also had to pass on the nanowrimo for this year. I started out with the best intentions but the more I did it, the more I really came to understand why authors buried themselves in No Man's Land to finish a book. I buried myself for a couple of days and got to the 5K mark. I did not have the mental clarity I needed to dive into 1,000+ words/day.

I've also decided to start job searching again which will be interesting. My 6 months on the contract will hit in January. I really want to start the HR classes for the UW Extension course this winter. Gotta have all my ducks lined up!

90 days

2006-11-14T23:30:00.000-08:00

S left for timbuk2 today.
We woke up early and had breakfast for 3 @ Beth's Cafe this morning. Driving past Greenlake at the crack of dawn felt odd to say the least. But it worked, saying goodbye while still comatose did make things easier.

I was fascinated with Mookie for some reason (i still don't like cats) because her world was turning upside down and we couldn't tell her what was going on. "she's used to me leaving" even so - still sucks for her! Her safety / hiding place under the futon - gone. Her father - gone. Her comfy sleeping spot on top of the futon - gone. Her alternate spot on the trunk - gone. Her bookcase - space - eh, maybe gone. but not a kid nonetheless, can't sit her down and make her listen. she'll need to figure things out on her own. she's not getting a heads-up. I kept staring at her throughout the night - i wonder what she's thinking? as she would look around, look at me, look around, look at her father "what's going on? what's happening? where's my safety spot? where's my food? where's my trunk?" =/ i felt bad. don't worry Mookie - it's only 90 days.

Train Man

2006-11-14T23:21:00.000-08:00

Just watched Train Man with Denise. She watched it for the third time and it was my first. I thought it was an awesome theater too. Grand Illusion Cinema
in the U-District. It seated about 50 ppl. and the walls were covered with red velvet curtain. The seats were a deep patterned red as well and the ceiling was so low that so boys had to be careful when walking. Denise had met me with her friend right before the movie started but all of the other patrons had also come by themselves, surprisingly they were all (about 5) white males - 20's --> 30's. odd? Brian you'll fit right in! (things that make you go hmmm.....) Overall entertaining movie for me but not too crazy on the ending.
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809766942/info

writers block

2006-11-11T14:13:00.000-08:00

i've had a project scattered over my living room floor all week.
and i have writers block.
i know part of it is trying to make sense of something that doesn't.
i know part of it is prolonging the inevitable.

S is leaving on Tuesday for 3 months.
to pursue one of his passions - traveling abroad.
myanmar & laos are the two biggies if i remember correctly. a layover in korea. thailand? vietnam? 3 months. 90 days. thanksgiving, his birthday and mine, christmas & new years.

you can't say - don't leave me. that we've only just met - that everything is still new. you can't say don't go.
you can say that this is one of the reasons you admire them. having passions in life and pursuing them. you can say that you admire that they have the desire and ability to literally make their world bigger. you can agree that they really are the open minded individual you hoped to come across in life.

but someone's moving my cheese and i don't know which mouse i am.

give it a break!

2006-11-08T23:12:00.000-08:00

I don't know if I'm just completely "Harry-Potter'ed Out" but I put down Book 4 with no remorse. I'm trying to double read and nanowrimo write.

Moneyball --> Michael Lewis

Emotional Alchemy --> Tara Bennett-Goleman

NaNoWriMo.org - update

2006-11-05T22:38:00.000-08:00

Update: 5,155 words.

only: 44,845 more to go!

NaNoWriMo.org

2006-11-05T17:50:00.000-08:00

Man this is harder than I thought.
I just uploaded my word count and i'm only at 1523....out of the 50,000 total. Nov 30th midnight is the cutoff.

They have the top cities by word count. Seattle is Number 2 on the list, only after "England: Elsewhere". that's got to be somewhat motivating. I contributed 1523 words out of their total: 2,195,048 word count. And! I still have all night to go. The last time I checked, I believe, Thursday, they were number 3. I classified mine as Chick Lit, may change it to Romance....boy, you could even write Erotic Fiction - something for everyone!

edit - flickr

2006-11-04T15:58:00.000-08:00

decided to change my album.
it will specifically be a non-starbucks coffee stop on my album. take out the big boys and really focus on the individuals and hopefully uncover some of the hidden treasures in seattle.

and i will want to include whether it's a drive thru or has WIFI and their business info.
so i could: use it as a resource moving fwd and really show how many coffee stops there really are in seattle. this would not be able to show how accessible WIFI though. the other day i was on my way to boba and was trying to figure out if the one i was going to had free WIFI. i've been spoiled, living across the street to one bomba$$ coffee shop in Cap Hill, but i need to venture out. so with this project, i'm hoping to do that as well. additionally, i am going to try to avoid looking up places on the web until i find at least 50 coffee stops by myself first. and - this will only be in seattle, no eastside no, lynnwood or renton or maple valley or anything else.

i'm not feeling too hot....

2006-11-03T19:36:00.000-08:00

literally!
it's f'n freezing here!
the other day i my door listerally cracked open from all of the ice that had kept it closed all night. my windshield wipers glazed smoothly over the already thicked ice - not making a single mark.

looks like I did need that ice scraper at GI. Joe's.

when i was working in oakland and SF, my coworkers/bosses would make fun of me because i would be dressed in my ironed button shirts and skirts - with ski jackets and scarves on. but i fit the business casual dress requirement! it's just buried! the temperature of seattle was or is one of my challenges, we'll see how my first Seattle Winter goes. *crossing fingers*

it's not looking too hot for a long long while.....

October
http://www.weather.com/outlook/events/sports/monthly/98102?month=-1

November
http://www.weather.com/outlook/events/sports/monthly/98102?month=0

Writing Project

2006-11-02T20:49:00.000-08:00

www.nanowrimo.org

Have you ever written a novel in a month? 50,000 words.

I've never. I have no idea where to start. I have no idea what it takes. I have no idea if I can.

So that's why I am.....starting now.

Crack Project

2006-11-01T20:06:00.000-08:00

I've decided my next Project: to start a collection (flickr! album!) of coffee shops in Seattle. I wonder if I would ever finish...

Here's my first one.District: Eastlake

Address:
1500 Fairview Ave E
Seattle, WA 98102

hollow-wean

2006-11-01T20:02:00.000-08:00

i went out for Halloween Pho - what did you do? =/

actually i should edit that: i successfully ate two dinners in one night.

Dinner 1: brown rice, fried egg, fried fish paste & mushrooms.
Dinner 2: #17, regular size (pho)

awesome.

bad day @ work.

2006-10-31T18:42:00.000-08:00

see - it's kinda like bursting a bubble.
once you realize that this may not be your dream job.
things are bound to happen.
but the things that recently happened make me think twice about where i am.
some people have their minimums, their preferences, exceedingly high expectations and their limits.
and i have mine too.

stereo sound.

2006-10-31T18:40:00.000-08:00

i just walked up from the staircase and entered my hallway and heard really loud noises coming from the apt right in front of the stairwell.

she sounded like she was in pain.
but i'm thinking - not.

i don't think they know (they moved in after me) how thin the walls really are. (gross)

"p-U"

2006-10-30T21:44:00.000-08:00

taking the staircase to the 5th floor of my work building is the only consistent exercise i have been able to maintain.
it's usually empty or i may see 1-2 other ppl, it's never crowded.
today, on my way down to the gym, one of the building employees was standing non-chalantly outside of the 3rd floor. not going up or down.
and as i passed him, i wondered what he was up to until i took one whiff....

*ewwwwwww* he must've laid bombs all over it because i was walking through h#ll! it was terrible. and i listened for his footsteps again and only heard silence.

work in progress

2006-10-30T19:40:00.000-08:00

status:

Volunteering -->

1. Puget Sound Blood Center: still no match yet. Completed all my paperwork and volunteer interview. Tried to sign up for either the - downtown or Northgate but either won't work due to scheduling. Waiting to hear back on Tukwila.
2. Library: Turned in application. still no match. Waiting to hear back on meeting with someone at either/both the Central Library n Cap Hill Library.
3. Volunteer Activity Co-leader: my first meeting is still next weekend.

Classes -->

1. My first photography class is on the 6th. I'm pretty excited it's the "Basics of Digital Photography". Because let's face it I still haven't mastered the basics - gotta start somewhere!
2. Went into Michaels today and got a schedule of the upcoming classes! Found a beginning Knitters class & a Card Making class I'd like to sign up for. You need to sign up/pay in person. It's right by my work so I can do that at lunch tomorrow!
3. HR: I'm holding off for right now, #1 because I missed the deadline for UW Extension Course. But as an interim measure I was able to xerox the complete "SHRM Essentials" workbook to do some self-study.
4. Computers: I just put a 5 DVD set to brush up on some MS Excel. I'd love to dive into Photoshop but 1 - I thought I had it and I can't find it and 2 I really want to squash these lingering Harry Potter books so I can get on with my life =).
5. Exercise: I have been delaying on getting back into Yoga because I am cheap. That's pretty much what it boils down to. I pay $15/month for our gym @ work. It has the basics (handful of machines) and I found out today that if I take lunch at 1:30pm - then at the most, there's only going to be one other person there with me. Then I could just eat while working, like I always do. Or I could always walk outside during lunch too. No it's not rigorous but it's so convenient! and cheap(er). =/

Other....
I have a 28 item queue for the Seattle Public Library, 2/3 of them are actual books....still have not gotten one yet.

Off to read the Potter!

wired

2006-10-29T15:38:00.000-08:00

according to Forbes this year, Seattle ranked 3rd in "Most Wired Cities". Only to be beat by:

1: Atlanta
2: Orlando

alone movie of the week.

2006-10-29T12:24:00.000-08:00

this weekend i skipped the semi-routine of going to the movie theater alone.
Well, we watched Saw III on opening night - Friday - which rocked! You need to see I & II before even thinking of sitting in front of III. A lot more gore than scary scenes.
I finished up the third book of Harry Potter =/
And watched movies: I, II & III.
Am I Harry'd out?
Absolutely.
But it's a strange inter-conflict of wanting to read something different and the need to finish the series. I have The Life of Pi on my shelf - patiently waiting. And it sounds like I'm going to finally start the Lord of the Ring books and have a queue in the Public Library that will never get touched!
I am torn..............as I open up Book IV, "And the Goblet of Fire".

W.T.F.?!

2006-10-26T18:04:00.000-07:00

I sent this email to a counterpart in HR and I laughed hysterically after I sent it. then i thought...maybe it's just me? but she said she was laughing out loud too =)

"Morning xxxxxxxxxxx!

I had a quick question to run by you:

An employee was previously enrolled in EC and had been migrated (their info) over to HMO.

Since their information had been moved over, including their PCP info – would there be any reason that their PCP (under the EC Plan) could not be their PCP under the HMO?

(EC, HMO, PCP, TTYL, BRB, TGIF….)

Thanks,
*insert Company info here*

2?

2006-10-23T21:39:00.000-07:00

Omg. I feel like any free time I have is spent reading this freakin' series. who would've thought. only just finished book II - when will it end?? *opening Prisoner of Azkaban*

Beautiful

2006-10-23T18:48:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to find the beauty in my job.
I'm trying to find the beauty in my cold cold apartment.
I'm trying to find the beauty in my haircut that's a lil' bit shorter than I pictured.
I'm trying to find the beauty in my 30 min commute to work.
I'm trying to find the beauty in my blurred out pictures.
I'm trying to find the beauty in my dilemmas.
I'm trying to find the beauty in my challenges.
I'm trying to find the beauty in my new ventures.
I'm trying to find the beatuy in my old routines.
I'm trying to find me.

it just doesn't make sense

change

yesterday...

kick

2009

seattle schmap

berkeley schmap

shortlist me please!

neighbors

moved.

use my pics!

wish

thursday

"a walking testimonial"

flickr sighting...

Itchmo.com

jones soda

woohoo #3!

1.9 miles

regroup

freddy rodriguez's character in grindhouse: wray

Re-post - 8.06

y

neighbors

woohoo #2!!!

3:36 min of crazy laughter for me

doesn't take much.

perfect

the other place.

zzz...

youtube

time 2 right

smitten

world

thin walls

my one chance

interested in a group?

dorkbot

new

My Dessert Personality Results

sleep

ready

Email of the Day

doing what.

"time

passive.aggressive.silence.

meant to be

rambling california clothed eyeballs

extended..........

monologue

butter

drunken blogging

small world

funktified

sleep.

Nutcracker March Statue - done.

Nutcracker March Statues

Holidays

23 min left of christmas.

shhhh...........

oops

2006

cluster headache

Signs and symptoms

Pain

contemplating

desperate

awesome.

my brain!

itsy bitsy spider

migraine headaches

j

not good

Daniel Henney *speechless*

msgs

Volunteering

Irreplaceable

power of word

beep beep

numbers

Daniel Henney speechless