.Thought.Process.

So you start with a thought. And that thought pops out of an experience or something you've heard or seen or thought before or sometimes, really outta nowhere - i mean, come on now, who are we kidding....(uh oh, that "thought before" could have a damper on where I was going with this...)
Anyways, you have a thought - only in your head. It vegetates for a bit and you debate on whether or when to voice this thought - solidifying it's existence.
And your mouth opens and the words appear - darkening and shading in the picture in your mind.
And then comes the written portion (are we taking a test?) - you see it....you actually see it played on paper (or as we do in 2005 - computer screen!) and it's there, it's real - oh! commitment. *shiver*

I was trying to sleep off my cramps for a bit and got inspired to turn on the computer yet one more time for the night and jump to Step #3.

I've been doing a lot of research lately and a bit of thinking and have devised up my plan but I haven't made it to writing it down till now. I've spoken to my excited brother!(you'll see why in a sec.) but no implementation yet.

I've decided to relocate. (*gasp!* <--- so that's what it looks like....) It's not something that's been financially planned out to a "T" but my belief is that if I really want this, I will do what I need to do to make it happen. (wow, sounds like I'm going to throw down or something!) I'm expecting to work for this.

Who? What? Where? When? Why? <--- those, omg, i could take forever answering those and since I like writing, one day I probably will. But as for now, this is a step in itself. My brother will be taking over my apt and all of the furniture. Most of it's all hand-me-downs anyways; stuff that was going to the dump after I moved. but this way i can leave stuff here if i end up subleting in the beginning. I'm trying to see what I can minimalize around the apt first - and sell. and am also going to look for a seasonal job this weekend to pay for moving costs but my plan so far:

• quit, jan 6th- a friday(they always say friday) this way i can have all of jan to use the benefits up here first and make various appts. i'll give my boss at least a month to find someone as a replacement to keep good references from my old job. probably take a trip second week in jan to look for someplace to live. either drive to see how far it really is, or fly - i checked and it's about $200 roundtrip - last minute. the paid time off i haven't taken and will cash out - can pay for at least two months rent (by the avg 1bdrm). and i won't taken any time in dec anymore.
• work seasonal now (weekends/night)- pay for moving and hopefully that initial trip out.
• sell what i can in my apt now
• unfortunately need to tighten up the pockets this holiday season
• and i'm prepared to work two jobs for the beginning to refurnish and do what I need to do.
• if i need to sublet initially then i'll just pack my car and come back to get stuff later. if i find something more perm then it'll just be a minimalist's dream. all i really need is my computer set up to apply for jobs / keep sanity, local phone line - phone interviews and clothes for interviews and a sleeping bag/pillow.

have i told any friends yet? actually, josh is pretty much the only one. oh and i mentioned it to becky because i called her when i had my epiphany.

ta da...*i did it.*