passive-aggressive

Wikpedia says...
Passive-aggressive behavior refers to passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to authoritative instructions in interpersonal or occupational situations. Sometimes a method of dealing with stress or frustration, it results in the person attacking other people in subtle, indirect, and seemingly passive ways. It can manifest itself as resentment, stubbornness, procrastination, sullenness, or intentional failure at doing requested tasks. For example, someone who is passive-aggressive might take so long to get ready for a party they do not wish to attend, that the party is nearly over by the time they arrive.

My boss sometimes exerted traits as listed above. and it disturbed me. and this past week, i exerted traits. my last day initially was scheduled for today. but she guilted me into staying until next Friday. after i already initially gave notice mid-june (i think?). Therefore delaying my full start at my new job, discounting me from two other pools for jobs i had been applying for. All from my paranoia of working this hard and not fulfilling her last wishes and get a sucky reference. so what do i do? i come in late. i check my email more. i take personal calls. i make personal calls. txt msg. i don't treat her items as urgent. don't get me wrong - i do my job. but i don't bother to excel at it, like i did before.

today i was catching her up and everything. now initially before i formally resigned, i would tell her what disturbed me or when i was bothered - to make me second guess whether this (job) was a good fit. i just started & we agreed to tell each other everything. and in doing so, i assumed there would be improvement afterwards. "here boss, this is what is inhibiting my ability to do XYZ project for you." and then i pictured her trying to see if it could be fixed or if there were things she could do to help her employee. but there never was. it was in one ear and out the other. and that's why i am leaving.

but today she dropped what seemed to me at the time - a bomb. one of the major reasons why i was leaving, is i felt like i was spending an obsurd amount of time on responsibilities that were not in my job description. major time. and it bothered me. i was hired for HR. and every time, all she would do is say sorry or agree to how wrong it was. but she never tried to look out for her own. (my old boss would joke "we feed our own but we eat our own" and he did. i would get lots of free caffeine but if i messed up....well...) never. and if the situation wasn't going to change, then i had to accept that and leave. but that major responsibility that i had repeatedly brought up, she just decided today that my replacement wouldn't have to worry about it. *snapping fingers* just like that. she said "oh no, *jane doe* isn't going to be doing that, i just decided to change it".

and it hit me. as i stared at her blankly. this isn't where i belong. she could've made that decision yesterday or last week and maybe it would've made a difference? and i don't have any regrets. as the payroll lady was leaving today she said if i decide i don't like my new job to make sure and call to come back and i said with a straight face "no....and i mean that in the nicest way". "i know. i understand" i'm going to miss her. and the sr. accountant. and i already miss the controller.

i guess this is part of the struggling i wanted to do once i got here. it's not easy to accept that this couldn't work. but it'll be - ok.