in one ear and out the other...

#1: "I hope you find what you're looking for"
if i had a penny for every time i've heard this. from friends. coworkers. old boss. family. that's the consensus. that's how i am perceived because these are often the comments that follow...

"How do you like it up there?"

"How long do you plan to stay?"

"Are you seeing someone?"

"Are you meeting a lot of people?"

but today, after being away from work for over a week, this is what I was told: "Rumor is you're coming back and resigning". what sparked this? well, after sitting my new boss down last week (to get permission to go back) and explaining to her that I wasn't happy and that this training experience was something I wanted to engage; to be able to use it by taking a step back and reasessing my role at the company and whether it was a good "fit". you know, like reasessing the bf or gf relationship and seeing if it's a good match. i promised her, in writing- the reasons (and there's a lot!) why i wasn't happy - which i hadn't had a chance to do yet. but i'm going to give it through summer and see if i can make it work. and give her my written statement of "Concerns" by Friday.

what AM i doing? i don't know. i would be lying if i didn't say sometimes i just looked around and was like - huh? but overall, am i happy? absolutely! do i know what i am doing? at 6:33pm on 6/5 - yes i do know. this whole thing is my self-picked mountain. i am very happy. this is the experience i wanted - whatever it brings on. do i like it here? absolutely! it's beautiful. this my friend - is beautiful.