*reflection*

this yr has been interesting. it's december, it's time for reflection.

I lost a close friend because his girlfriend was not comfortable with our friendship. instead of saying, hey, she's my friend for the last 10yrs+, accept me along w/my friends. he isolated me out of his life - so that he doesn't "upset" her (that's what he said). i've put out another opportunity to say hey, let's have a pow-wow and work it out and he's not responded. but like daniel said, he made his decision a long time ago about whether he's chosing your friendship or this girl and he didn't chose you. and he's right, it's been almost a yr and he hasn't done anything to salvage it. but at least i tried. i've changed my work - to a 10 min commute, which would encompass an additional 1.5-2hrs/day of personal time and it vanished. i've exceeded my learning potential by an extreme amount by the way my supervisor (greg AKA "Bossman") guides and pushes me. i've dabbled with the idea of relocating and have given tomorrow as my due date to resign and make it a permanent decision and to stay on track with my timeline. since i last wrote, i kept telling myself - maybe i need just one more month to save up, just another couple of weeks and it'll make a difference but a week, a month, a couple of months - that's pretty much how i got here. i blinked and somehow (since i graduated in 2000) it's 5 yrs later? people keep telling me, jo, you're running away. and becky said it perfectly, she said ppl are going to tell you you're running away but don't listen to them, i don't believe you're running away, i believe you're running towards the - rest - of your life. i feel like i've gotten my legs pulled out from under me and i've got a decision to make. i can sit here and think - how the heck did that happen or i can decide what & where i want to go NEXT and i feel like that's what i'm doing. i've decided to take control and throw myself into a different - uncontrollable. i'm confident with my decision. physical location - won't make the difference. it's a personal choice of what will make me happy and what will make me feel what i want to feel - challenged.

this year has been interesting.

in terms of personal growth - it's one of my most valued. and where i want to go next - i feel like next yr can definitely surpass it.