.gut.

so i said let's trust our gut instinct and seal it with one kiss. that will decipher whether we're meant to be friends or to 'casually date'. weird? maybe. but makes sense in my head. and then? and then, we decided to just go day by day. but. it's an odd scenario because instead of me being able to see how things go, i'm intentionally not looking for a relationship. and i know he mentioned, he's looking for a mutually supportive relationship. but me....well, i want to stumble along by myself, make a few mistakes, learn a few hard lessons, meet some odd/bad/weird/cool/random people. so that puts us in a situation where you want to ensure both sides are on the same page at any time. i'm too old for games. he's good company. i'm attracted to him. but i know, i'm not wanting this to go anywhere. so does that mean it's ok to still keep hanging out? what if he doesn't define "casually dating" in the same light i do? last time i went over, i told him i had "dinner plans" and would come over after. today, i told him i had plans to hang out and left when i wanted. i don't know, how much more open i can be? i think it's just a feeling of guilt, i don't want him to be where i was. ever.