.uh.

as i was driving to sammy's house i saw my mom at a stop sign. she didn't recognize me because i'm in a rental. an impala - it's pretty cool to drive! when i was trying to leave work early yesterday, bossman said i can leave - but then i felt guilty. so i told my replacement i would wait while she gets a bite to eat real quick and see if she has any last minute questions before i leave - she said she would be right back. i sat there waiting 45 min - doing jack sh!t and finally left. so much for feeling guilty for leaving her. as we partied at mezzaine last night, i realized how much i haven't been out lately. and how much of a 2-shot wonder i've become. which will make tonight even more interesting. my apt is totally empty and it's so boring being in there.

cinco and marie made me this bomba$$ scrapbook and i started looking through it and it's finally hitting me, how much i will miss my friends - being so close by. both lori ann and marie wrote full pages out and while i was looking at it when they first gave it to me, i skipped their pages - because i knew. so maybe the next day i think, i started reading cinco's page first and she had me at like the 2nd or 3rd sentence and i started balling. and it wouldn't stop. she means the world to me and she gives me hope in (wo)man kind. she's completely awesome and my life wouldn't be the same without her and wouldn't be as fulfilling without her. it's a scary thought not to have her close by. she knows me best, reminds me of myself, even when i've lost sight of self. with marie, i feel like we get each other in so many ways. and i feel like we're in the same stage in our life which makes us understand the incomprehensible - even better. i was scheduled to fly out tomorrow afternoon but both cinco and marie weren't getting back into town until Monday night - so i extended my flight to have those last couple of hrs Monday night - with them as they settle back in, unpack and just rest. it just feels right, spending that night with them before flight.