Volunteer response to Craigslist.org ad: Accurate TYPIST needed for boutique publishing firm

I forgot to mention that one time I lost a typing test with an ex's roomie and was sad....

"Hello,

I am writing in regards to your ad listed on Craigslist.org for a
volunteer typist. I currently reside in Seattle and am looking for
volunteer opportunities in my spare time.

Why me:

1.) I LOVE typing.
2.) I've posted on the "Volunteer" section of Seattle - Craigslist.org
before to volunteer my time as a typist and I had no bites.
3.) Upon my request today, my company replaced my keyboard to one that allowed me to type faster and I was happy the rest of the day (I still am).
4.) My first office job was in high school. In my spare time, I would pick up manuals/booklets and type them just for fun.

On accuracy:
5.) My nickname at my last three employers was "Eagle Eye". They were all unrelated.

Please let me know if I can be of assistance.

At this point, I could guarantee at least 5 hours / wk. However, when the rain starts (it is Seattle) I'm sure I will have more time."

packing my bags and collecting my thoughts.

what i like to do to procrastinate in packing my bags is to watch Lost in Translation.
I got home from pho cycle with aileen and all i've accomplished is watching Lost in Translation. And just like my book "What Should I do with my Life?" by Po Bronson. I am reminded that it's ok to get lost along life's path. that nothing is set in stone and to roll with the punches is an understatement. Whenever I pack my bags to go back to California I feel a bit odd. (I'm trying to not say "home" anymore but California) I can't explain it. There's a scene in the movie where Scarlett and Bill M. are laying in bed:

Charlotte: I just don't know what I'm supposed to be.
Bob: You'll figure that out. The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.

...about figuring out about me. deciphering the 'trivial' in the road. what i want. to not just zone out through life but with every day it's like, sculpting myself. and creating and re-creating me.

but again, i'm packing my bags, re-charging my camera batteries, collecting my thoughts, getting ready to be in the familiar again. to be in my so-called comfort zone.

and sometimes my comfort zone transforms into my uncomfortable - zone.

just like the uncomfortable --> comfortable.

crack

sometimes i meet ppl who are just SO out there and i say to myself "maaaannnn...they must be on crack!?"
sometimes i think of that dave chappell character of him on crack.
sometimes i hear ppl tell me my pinky fingernail would be perfect if i used crack.

but never.

never did i think i would walk into Renton's AAA Office during lunchtime and stand behind this 75 y.o. pudgy man with his pants really really low, leaning hunched over the counter that i saw A LOT more of his crusty hairy yucky crack than i ever wanted to know about.

*shiver*

license

it's time.
the time has come where i have no other option but to change my license plate to washington state. i don't know why i've procrastinated for so long.
i would talk to friends (fellow transplants) and they had not changed it for months and even up to a year. i thought i would have the same luxury yet i had been notified that my registration has expired.
the tags and license plate will need to change - quickly.
*sigh*
i will be Washington.
what's even more mind blowing is that i was SO excited to get my actual WA Driver's license. i was thrilled!! could not contain it.
i feel like i'm acknowledging my commitment to being a Washington resident.
and i know i have by living here for more than 6 months so i'm not sure why this is such a deal for me. but it is.

so little sun so little time.

the clock is ticking away and it's about to be sundown for a long long time.
there's so many things i still want to do!

1. i want to go out on the water again, like paddleboating, kayaking or something!
2. have a full day of exploring seattle and (practice) taking pictures
3. get to more farmers markets
4. take the ferry to another crab buffet night on bainbridge
5. dog watch at greenlake more
6. go to pike place market more (ohhh, that's what i'd like to do after i finish this laundry...eh, actually probably not since i went yesterday - maybe fremont)
7. sit at the park across the street more and just read w/my vivace coffee
8. i'm sure there's more that i can't think of before coffee

overall, it's been another awesome weekend.

friday got to go to happy hour and get a guiness and hummus plate for less than $6! actually it was free for me =) then finally got to watch ong bak! and can't wait to see the 2nd!
saturday got to play tourguide w/Davis in town! went to pike place (for his first time). Then went to Sweetfest in Redmond. Then went to Queen Anne to take some scenic pix and to Seattle Center where I stepped in mud and buried my feet and had to walk an absurd distance without shoes on to wash my feet and slippers in the bathroom sink. Then went to Lakefest in Eastlake to hear some live music...and to Fremont for some sushi! and then! Showed S - Saw for the first time. in preparation for Saw III coming out in Oct!

Today will be spent doing laundry and some bills in the morning. And then we're going to Magnuson Park where all of the doggies like to go. Sit out in the sun, take some doggie pix, read a bit, eat a bit and just chill.

"Sweet"...

This bothered me.

Did you do this?
...yes...
This bothered me. *blah blah blah* Do you see where I'm coming from? Can you understand why?
*silence*

it was at that point that I realized I had not been confronted in such a long time, I almost forgot how to communicate. I forgot that ppl actually try to be understood. I had been conditioned in - if it's broke....drop everything and run away NOW. the communication thing, it's just a faint memory right now. but again, it's something new. something challenging, just like i wanted.

"I want you to do more of the things you want to do"

that was his answer.

The question was "What do I do that you would like it if i did more of?" or "What do I do that you would like it if I did less of?"

it was like snapping the fingers.

*snapping out of it*

i'm here. i'm in Seattle. now let me break out my list of things I want to do here. I've been fairly good at keeping up to date with the community events this summer. I'm trying to attend as many as possible. but there's so much more I want to do.

but it's all in little steps. like tonight, i went back to searching for more volunteer events and signed up for the Oktoberfest in Fremont - in September!? I emailed back the Planned Parenthood contact that I haven't been in touch with since I attended the orientation to mention that I'm still in the market. And even yet, tried to get scheduled for the Clinic vs. just events and festivals. And I'm breaking out the books before I go to bed. That was lost recently, just as I had recently gotten back in the routine. but i am seeing that it's not a quick recovery and that this all takes time but as long as there's movement...i'm ok. no - i'm better than ok.

weekend

this weekend was nice.
today leisurely woke up and went to meet C @ Pike Place Market to have brunch and walk around. we also started off with caffeine and topped it off with gelato (his first!). that was nice. i really like going there and i need to go more since it's walking distance and it's still nice outside. it's a perfect sunday morning event. we ate at a bolivian restaurant right on pike place which gave a perfect seating to people watch. C is a lot different and i like learning about the stuff he's into that i'm not. i think that's cool. what was even cooler, was that i was 20 min late and he was luckily still there - seeing as i couldn't find his number to give him a warning! unfortunately i forgot my camera which i'll need to bring with me next time, there's always so much to see there.

took aileen to greenlake for the first time and we couldn't understand why we haven't gone more before.

getting ready for the wu's! wuutwutt!

waiting...

today was awesome. i had an awesome day. it was so awesome i had to txt S just to say i was having an awesome day.
it was my last day at work.
it started off with me finally finding a "Tab Energy Drink" in a store on my way to work. i had been looking in grocery stores and target - everywhere recently. And the cashier told me that the manufacturer had been out of stock for the last month. craziness.
then my replacement treating me to caffeine this morning.
and i purposely told my coworker, i did not want any type of spectical today, i like sneaking out of companies, i don't like attention.
they gave me three envelopes this morning and a HUGE bag of sour candy from Sweet Factory =)
one envelope had a card that my payroll lady made - it was cute. another envelope had a starbucks gift card saying something along the lines of "we thought you might like caffeine" =) and the third was kinda bulky. and i opened it and it had like....30 business cards - all my boss' and in it, it said keep in touch. i thought that was so funny.....
it's always interesting to realize how ppl see you...caffeine and candy, guess they're not too far off now!
then, we got to go to the mall for my favorite chicken salad. and usually when i go to the mall, i like to stop at the candy store but since i already had candy, muna pulled my arm and quickly sped me past the store - saying "no stopping, no candy, sorry it's closed down, they've moved" you had to be there, she's always so serious - it was funny. i felt like i was laughing for the full 30 min it took us to get food. on our way back, there was a cute boy that crossed our paths, and i looked at muna and said, you didn't see him did you? and just as she turned around, he was looking back at her. i - got - her - busted! it was SO funny. and then! and then! we got to leave work early - payroll, accounting and i went for a pedicure at Ummelinas in downtown. it was - SO nice. i LOVE pedicures. love. yes, i always said i don't know if i've loved before but i *heart* pedicures. now, i'm sitting here at chilling - waiting for aileen so we can go and hang out in the U District w/S and Brian. lineup for this weekend, is going to the Tattoo Expo w/my new friend V. and catching brunch (tentatively) w/my new friend C. um...and then going for drunk bowling at The Garage w/GF. And! and! it gets better! the Wu's are coming into town starting Monday! "wuwut!"

Bloody Christina

Christina.
that was the name of the lady at the Puget Sound Blood Center in First Hill that.....

TOOK MY BLOOD YESTERDAY!

now.
to fully understand that statement, you need to understand that yesterday was my 6th try at donating blood. the last time I got rejected r had to console me as I started crying. (yup...crying)

I had been rejected because: collapsed vein, fresh piercings, trip to Chitchen Itza by car from Cancun, still within the 12 months (or whatever) of the Chitchen Itza trip and from the center being too crowded with donators after 9/11. that's 5 times.

"How do you feel?" is what my moral support (S) asked as they started taking the pint. And, oddly enough, it felt somewhat surreal. I couldn't believe I was there. It sounds odd and maybe weird but I was SO happy afterwards. SO happy. I felt good. I felt great. I tried and I tried and I was always rejected. I still hold onto my fear of needles. But I successfully lasted throughout the duration of giving blood, helping someone else, getting through the discomfort and just finally finishing what seemed to be an endless goal.

joke killer via Gmail Chat

Alexander: any where between now and 10 sometimes i work at home too

heydid you know that diahria is heridiatary?

me: what??

Sent at 6:19 PM on Monday

Alexander: yupit runs in your jeans

me: in my genes?

Sent at 6:22 PM on Monday

Alexander: dudeyou didn't get itthe joke has been ruined

thanks for not being funny

Sent at 6:23 PM on Monday

me: LOLLLL

i get it now!

Alexander: oh man!

me: apparently i have a one track mind

sorry i get it!

it's funny!

Alexander: man man man

oh Jo

clean slate

i started my new job today.
I *heart* it there.
there's no dress code.
there's happy people.
i like my team.
even though i am a contractor - i know that their employee benefits are great.
i walked around and all of their meeting rooms are called different movies, i.e. Breakfast Club, Risky Business, etc.
I walked around more and found gwen stefani looking at me in one of the departments, i found a teddy bear in another and some of the posters up, had cut out sayings on them for fun.
there's employee school pix (K-12) on another wall.
it's just fun and people are happy to be there.
it's small but i love it.

blood.

hahahaha.....
it just clicked. just - clicked.
that i'm sitting at home right now w/tissue up my left nostril waiting for my nose to stop bleeding.
and i just made an appointment to try to donate blood on tuesday @ 7:30pm.

frazzled

S is very calm. So now I try to catch myself when I see myself getting frazzled and dazzled.

At work yesterday I caught it. And I mentally took a step back and started taking in deep breaths. I told myself - what does this matter in the big picture? How am I going to benefit from getting mad? And kept breathing really deep.

All of this happened within a minute or two.

But it's also a step or two forward.

passive-aggressive

Wikpedia says...
Passive-aggressive behavior refers to passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to authoritative instructions in interpersonal or occupational situations. Sometimes a method of dealing with stress or frustration, it results in the person attacking other people in subtle, indirect, and seemingly passive ways. It can manifest itself as resentment, stubbornness, procrastination, sullenness, or intentional failure at doing requested tasks. For example, someone who is passive-aggressive might take so long to get ready for a party they do not wish to attend, that the party is nearly over by the time they arrive.

My boss sometimes exerted traits as listed above. and it disturbed me. and this past week, i exerted traits. my last day initially was scheduled for today. but she guilted me into staying until next Friday. after i already initially gave notice mid-june (i think?). Therefore delaying my full start at my new job, discounting me from two other pools for jobs i had been applying for. All from my paranoia of working this hard and not fulfilling her last wishes and get a sucky reference. so what do i do? i come in late. i check my email more. i take personal calls. i make personal calls. txt msg. i don't treat her items as urgent. don't get me wrong - i do my job. but i don't bother to excel at it, like i did before.

today i was catching her up and everything. now initially before i formally resigned, i would tell her what disturbed me or when i was bothered - to make me second guess whether this (job) was a good fit. i just started & we agreed to tell each other everything. and in doing so, i assumed there would be improvement afterwards. "here boss, this is what is inhibiting my ability to do XYZ project for you." and then i pictured her trying to see if it could be fixed or if there were things she could do to help her employee. but there never was. it was in one ear and out the other. and that's why i am leaving.

but today she dropped what seemed to me at the time - a bomb. one of the major reasons why i was leaving, is i felt like i was spending an obsurd amount of time on responsibilities that were not in my job description. major time. and it bothered me. i was hired for HR. and every time, all she would do is say sorry or agree to how wrong it was. but she never tried to look out for her own. (my old boss would joke "we feed our own but we eat our own" and he did. i would get lots of free caffeine but if i messed up....well...) never. and if the situation wasn't going to change, then i had to accept that and leave. but that major responsibility that i had repeatedly brought up, she just decided today that my replacement wouldn't have to worry about it. *snapping fingers* just like that. she said "oh no, *jane doe* isn't going to be doing that, i just decided to change it".

and it hit me. as i stared at her blankly. this isn't where i belong. she could've made that decision yesterday or last week and maybe it would've made a difference? and i don't have any regrets. as the payroll lady was leaving today she said if i decide i don't like my new job to make sure and call to come back and i said with a straight face "no....and i mean that in the nicest way". "i know. i understand" i'm going to miss her. and the sr. accountant. and i already miss the controller.

i guess this is part of the struggling i wanted to do once i got here. it's not easy to accept that this couldn't work. but it'll be - ok.

Discover a park

Yesterday my surprise outing was a dinner on the cliffs of Discovery Park after work.

*click*
mental picture: sitting on the isolated bench looking out onto the water seeing the boats / ferries and watching random doggies and people walk by with their kids and even a bunny hopping along. but these were sporatic.

dinner was based on a dish we shared at Bleu - "Fiona Antipasto". his version had hummus, bread, proscuitto, olives, sweet peppers, feta cheese, fresh mozzarella and tomatoes (i'm sure i'm missing something) and this seafood soup that was yum!

so after he spread everything out on the bench my ungrateful self asks what the dessert was so i could plan accordingly =) and he goes - do you think from what i know of you now that i wouldn't bring dessert? (or something like that) and i was laughing.........so we got cookies...yum!

2 wks and counting.

right now i'm going through the motions of being at work and not really being at work.
my 2-wk notice is public knowledge now.
people who don't need to know, ask why? they ask where? they look and they look more.
and i dodge. and i smile and avoid. and i don't disclose - because i don't want to and don't feel i need to.
it's that timeframe where you're physically there for 2 more weeks yet you've mentally checked out weeks if not, months ago. i check my email now. i write personal emails - a lot now. i looks up spas to go to w/coworkers. and i breathe a lot easier during the weekdays. work. all it is, is another relationship that didn't work out. only thing is i realized early on that i can't afford to not be happy. that's not what i came here for - it's not an option.

5 Ways to Show Affection

(Boy, I am going to butcher this one up.)
The other day S was talking to me about how there are 5 ways people show affection:

1.) Tokens: buying flowers, the candy, the car, the house, blah blah blah
2.) Physical: holding hands, kisses, blah blah blah
3.) Words: i *heart* you
4.) Time: ....time...
5.) Effort: making dinner, picking them up from work, blah blah

And when two people in a relationship, aren't aware of how the other person expresses themselves - that's when the miscommunication occurs.

i.e. I feel like my #1's are: physical and effort. i really enjoy holding hands or waking up next to someone. i really like to do the little things, like watching out to make sure they get inside the car or home or making sure their head doesn't fall through the crack of two pillows. with time and words really close behind. And if I look out for those with my partner but they associate differently, maybe w/tokens, then I'll feel like they don't care. (why doesn't he like to hold my hand? why doesn't he kiss my hand during movies anymore?) he'll reciprocate w/buying me flowers and i will think he doesn't care. that's what you call two completely separate pages.

I never thought of it this way. Looking back at past relationships, it made sense to me.